Happy Monday

Today is my birthday. I have been alive and, arguably, my own entity for 29 revolutions of the Sun. To those of you out there who are wishing me a happy birthday, happy Monday!

I’m serious, have a fantastic Monday! I intend to, but the fact that it’s also my birthday really doesn’t affect me one way or another. The whole concept of celebrating one’s birthday rubs me the wrong way, and I know that expressing this in a public forum is going to make me sound like a curmudgeon, but as it is my birthday, and the rest of the population of North America seems to think that I ought to be selfish on this day for some reason, I am going to state my opinions for all to see.

I touched on this previously, but it bears repeating. I don’t think we should need a calendar to remind us to show someone we love them. A birthday celebration is a lazy way to make someone feel appreciated, and for people like me, it actually makes us uncomfortable. Shy people don’t like being made much of, especially in public. Dragging us out to be the centre of attention, while at the same time telling us that it’s what we should want, is cruel and unusual. I’m generally willing to go along with it, because it makes my friends happy, and I do enjoy myself, but not because it’s “for me”. I enjoy being around people. I enjoy having a good time. I enjoy bringing joy to others. I enjoy being able to feed them and supply them with “wine and song”, or being part of good conversations. I don’t even mind being the centre of the room. However, this is how I want my whole life to be, not just once a year.

Presents are a different matter. My friends seem to be under the impression that I don’t like getting presents, which isn’t true. I don’t necessarily like being bombarded by presents on my birthday, when I know they are specifically for the purpose. If it’s someone’s birthday, you may feel obligated to get them a gift whether you want to or not. Just because it’s someone’s birthday, you might rush out to spend money on trinkets they neither want or need. On the other hand, if someone sees something that they think I ought to have, or knows I need something and am lacking it, I take great pleasure in being given a gift whether it’s my birthday or just another random Thursday afternoon.

So far the presents I’ve been given this birthday are as follows:

    A membership to CostCo,

    A membership to the CAA,

    A humorous card with a five dollar bill tucked into it for a coffee,

    A velvet bag containing Whiskey Stones.

All of these things were fantastic presents for me. Both of the memberships were from my mother and will last a year (conveniently until my next birthday), and though they aren’t flashy, they will enrich my life. My mother understands that a present shouldn’t be about how much it cost, but how much it’s worth to the person receiving it.

The card was sent by a casual acquaintance who simply has one of those big hearts. The old guy just wants to make people happy and enrich their lives, and he made sure to get me a card which was not only funny, but poignant. I laughed when I read it, and that’s as good a gift as I could hope for.

The whiskey stones were from one of my lodgers, who may or may not know about my feelings about birthdays. Nevertheless, he wanted to get me something amazing and he succeeded. We’ve shared many glasses of whiskey together, so the stones are not only something which I’ve wanted for a long time, but something which speaks to our bond. Truth be told, I had manly tears of manliness in my eyes when he gave them to me.

Shut up... it was manly....

The point is that each of these gifts are worth far more to me than what they cost the people who bought them. They may have been bought with my birthday in mind, but I would have accepted them any time and they’d have meant just as much, because I know that they care.

The other side of presents at birthdays is that if everyone is giving me a gift, whether they can afford it or not, and just because it’s the thing to do, then my friends may be hurting themselves. I don’t want that, ever. If, on the other hand, someone didn’t get me something, I know that they may feel bad for not doing so, and that would be equally undesirable. All I need is the love of my friends and family, not shiney things. I know that they care because they chose to spend time with me, and if they want to buy me something or take me out for a meal when they have a little extra cash, so be it, but forcing them to do so, whether they can afford it or not, is not a thing which brings me joy.

As a Christian, there is another aspect of birthdays which bothers me. I’m sure that most people are going to think that I’m completely blowing this out of proportion, but there’s a reason that one’s birthday is a high holiday in Satanism. The veneration of the self is key to the principles of Satanism, and at complete odds with Christianity, which teaches humility. For those of you who don’t know, Satanism is a serious religion which celebrates the Self and Personal Rebellion. LaVeyan Satanism is even a philosophy as opposed of a religion, and not necessarily an evil one.

Getting back to my point, Christianity teaches you to be humble, and avoid putting on airs or making much of yourself. Even if you do something incredible, Christians believe that your attitude ought to be “I’m grateful that I could accomplish this” as opposed to “Look at how fantastic I am”. In this light, celebrating a birthday should mean being thankful for the past year, and hopeful for the next. I wouldn’t have a problem with that sort of celebration, just don’t try to make me feel important. I don’t want to feel important. I want to feel necessary.

To me, it makes far more sense to celebrate one’s parents on one’s birthday. I know there are already scheduled holidays for that. Namely Mother’s day and Father’s day, but wouldn’t it be far more personal and meaningful to commemorate the occasion which your parents specifically had a hand in, rather than some arbitrary day? I think the veneration of the people responsible for making your birthday happen is far more fitting than making much of yourself. On your birthday, you should call your parents, maybe make them a meal, provide for them as they have provided for you all your life, and say “Thank you”.

So, I’m going to go call my parents, and I hope that you all have the very best Monday you’ve ever had!

Thanks for reading,

-Step.