I am a Writer.

I said in an earlier post that I have trouble reading. It’s probably due to the fact that I’ve got A.D.D. I just can’t focus on a stream of written words. My eyes jerk from word to word and I don’t read nearly fast enough for my attention span. I like audiobooks. I can listen to an audiobook while I’m at work, or walking, or playing a videogame. The problem with that is that one of the best ways to get faster at reading is by doing it, so it’s a constant struggle against myself to get through a written work.

This problem, for whatever reason, doesn’t carry over to writing. Maybe it’s the fact that I’m editing as I go, constantly keeping track of my spelling and grammar as well as the actual content and how to best display it on the page. Layout is far more important than most people think. I have a friend who is fond of saying “It’s not what you say, but how you say it.” If this is true anywhere, it’s true in writing.

My writing (especially my fiction) suffers from my lack of reading actual books. There are things which you learn from seeing it done and mimicking. Because I don’t see the way other people write as often as I otherwise would, I have no idea if I’m doing something wrong, or at the very least, unorthodox. I do, however, have certain personal preferences. I like to keep my paragraphs short, not only because I jump from topic to topic, but also because they’re easier to read that way. Big blocks of text are hard to get through.

I generally write to music. To be honest, I live my whole life to music, and writing is one of the things I do. I am selective about the music I listen to while writing though, and I make sure it fits the tone of what I’m writing. On a very rare occasion I will even turn the music off if a scene calls for silence.

I used to write everything on paper first, then copy it into the computer. While I still do this on occasion, I’ve gotten into the habit of writing almost entirely on the computer. When I don’t have access to a computer, I’ll scribble notes, sentences, even whole story segments on whatever scrap of paper I have at hand, but the pressure of the modern age has made me realize that writing on a computer is just far more convenient, though sometimes I do miss the feel of a notebook in my hand.

I especially love writing fiction with another person, taking turns creating a world and characters together. I’m great with characters. I can come up with characters spontaneously who are realistic, flawed, individuals. Where I have trouble is in getting a story to where it’s going. I seem either to rush through big events quickly, because I know what the main elements are and how the characters would react to them, or I dither about wasting time until one such event occurs. Living life isn’t something I write very well. "She gets up, she showers, she goes to work, she goes to the library, she comes home". I mostly end up inside my character’s minds during these times, but there’s still something missing.

My main problem is not wanting to give anything away. Because I write primarily with and for another person, I like to keep things back, even when I have the secrets and mysteries figured out, I like to make them hunt for clues, which doesn’t work so well if you’re writing for a reader, who can’t affect the flow of events, rather than for a collaborator, who can.

My stuff is good, but not great, and it tends to be rough. I have noticed that editing (as with anything else) is becoming easier for me with practice. Since I’ve started this blog, I’ve done edits on every piece of writing I’ve done, and the quality is improving already. Maybe I’ll post some fiction eventually, but for now I’ll keep this Blog in the Non Fic arena.

If anyone out there has advice on how to set up an outline, or any other advice really, I’d be glad to hear it. I’ve heard advice from some of the sci-fi greats, and also the masters of podcasting, and if I’ve learned anything it’s that all advice about writing should be taken with a bucket of salt. Everyone’s process is different, and no one has “the one way that works”.

By the way, if you are a writer, and like to listen to good advice, I highly suggest checking out Mur Lafferty, The Dead Robots Society, and all the goodies which surround the podcasting universe.

Thanks for reading,


-Step.

I am a Nerd

I am possibly from the last generation who can say “I liked Sci Fi before it was cool”. Watching (or admitting to watching) Star Trek TNG was still not cool on the playground, and if you read books by Isaac Asimov, J.R.R.Tolkien, or Robert Heinlein, you were automatically put in the category of weird, at least at my small town elementary and highschool. Now, however, with new sci fi and urban fantasy shows rivalling cop shows for air time, along with the proliferation of computers and computer use, calling yourself a nerd is A-ok, even trendy.

This information is probably nothing new.

The term Nerd (as well as the related words geek and fan), has changed a great deal over the years as society in general has changed. Anyone might call themselves a nerd, or nerdy, but the true nerds, the people who fight over nerd cred, and debate for hours on whatever topic, are still the same at the core.

We are enthusiastic, sometimes obsessive, and to varying degrees, socially awkward. We have intellectual, even esoteric pursuits, and though many of us are introverted, we generally remain social creatures, despite our social awkwardness.

NERD vs. GEEK

Image care of XKCD

While these two words may have, at one point, meant different things, the difference is now largely lyrical. You can be a Gamer Geek, or a Computer Nerd, or a Sci-Fi Fan, because it sounds better than the alternative.

In the colloquial of the internet, you can also be a “fag”. You might call an artist a Drawfag, or a foodie a Foodfag. This may seem offensive from the outside, but I assure you that in the circles such language is used, it’s not really. Online discussions are susceptible to trolling, and building a thick skin for such things is helpful as long as you can remember the difference between that and polite conversation. 

NERD CRED

In today’s world, just about everyone has heard of Star Trek, so liking Star Trek is no longer an indicator of nerdiness. The same is true of video games, and will soon be true of Doctor Who, etc. Some nerds, as most people do, cling with great pride to what sets them apart as a mark of distinction. As the rest of the world becomes aware of what has been their sovereign territory up to this point, some nerds get testy.

Time was, Star Trek fans were some of the friendliest, most accepting people you could meet. Times have changed however, and as the world keeps extending an interest into the obscure, jealousy and self importance raise their ugly heads. Any clique or sect will be friendly and accepting of others who share their interests until some unknown critical mass is reached, at which point the “true” or “real” members will shun the “posers”. I dread the day this happens to Fur culture.

SOCIAL AWKWARDNESS

Not all geeks are equal in this respect. Some of us relate quite well to the world around us, while others have great difficulty. I’m not having a nature vs. nurture discussion here, but I can say that this isn’t necessarily just a case of brain chemistry.

One of the things which makes it hard for geeks to relate to the uninitiated is their level of interest in their particular pursuits. Going on for hours about classes and call signs of different star ships might be as fascinating to one as the stats and odds on a team to win the superbowl might be to another, but try getting these two to have a conversation together, much less, anyone not so taken to such obsessions. Many, perhaps most nerds have grown up in a situation where they were the only person taken to a particular obsession, or perhaps part of a very small group. They probably had few or no friends as children, and when they finally met people who shared an interest in a particular thing, it only served cause them to cling tighter to whatever it was which helped them relate to another person. At least, this is how it was with me.

ME? A NERD?

My love of science fiction began with Star Trek, and though I am now old enough to recognize its flaws, TNG was, and remains, a fun, nostalgic element of my youth. This love was cemented by my father reading me “The Caves Of Steel” by Isaac Asimov. I went on to read the rest of the series myself, even though reading a book is, to me, almost painful (more on this later).

Sci Fi, of course, is not the only thing which makes me a nerd. I love numbers and mathematics, even beyond my aptitude for actually doing it. I love physics and the world around me, which (for some strange reason) are traits to be frowned upon by the unthinking masses. I love video games, comic books, cosplay, fantasy books and art, mythology, history, venn diagrams, the list goes on.

My wide range of interests has made it difficult for me to choose a path in life, and so I’ve dithered for years between things I enjoy and things I’m capable of... but at last, I’m making my place.

I’ve been a nerd all my life, and I don’t feel the need to classify myself as a specific kind. I’m not a “Star Trek fan” or a “comic book geek”, I’m just a nerd, and anything different and interesting is worth a try in my book. Of course, that goes for all sorts of things which are not nerdy as well.

Open your eyes, open your mind, and try new things. Everyone can benefit from that advice.

Thanks for reading,


-Step.

I am a Christian

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not one of those angry people who hold up signs depicting aborted fetuses or with “God Hates Fags” scrawled across it. Those people, Christian though they may be, are clearly doing it wrong. (Matthew 5:43-48) A true Christian should seek to make brothers (and sisters) of those with whom they disagree, or else live in such a way to show how Christ living in you makes the world a better place. I personally don’t think anyone holding up a sign of any sort in this day and age makes the world a better place, only a more distracted one. Nevermind the thousands of very misguided people who do hold up signs which either insult or alienate the very people they seek to help. Good god, people, will you give it a rest?

Nor am I one of those people who are too “kind” to tell a person what they really think. Letting someone go out of the house dressed like Wil Wheaton from the mid 80’s for fear of hurting their feelings isn’t kind, neither is letting a friend who’s being uncharitable continue just because they’re mad, even if they are rightly so. We do not have a right to screw someone just because they screwed us. We do not have the right to let someone continue in ignorance of their failings just because it might cause a little bit of pain or anxiety to point them out. We have to speak up and say “Look, I love you, and you’re being foolish.”

Notice I didn’t say “but”. I said “and”. Just because someone’s being a fool doesn’t mean we can’t still love them and wish them well.

Anyway, if anyone’s out there reading this, you can be secure that I won’t be discriminating against you based on some misguided religious grounds. Everything I know about christianity tells me that God gave us intelligence to be used for the betterment of the world. Notice I didn’t say the furthering of our personal goals, or our cause, or our religion the way we see it. I believe we’re here to make the world a better place, to save our brothers and sisters from damnation, and to become as close to perfect (humble, charitable, and gracious, not proud, judgemental, or vindictive) as possible.

I realise that I haven’t said anything about Jesus here, nor about why I believe Christianity is true. I have no intention of preaching religion to anyone at the moment, but I did have to write about it as it’s a pretty big part of my life. I’m sure there will be more posts on the topic of God, church, and religion, but it’s not going to be my main focus here.

If you want to know more about Christianity, I suggest you start with Lee Strobel and C.S. Lewis, then maybe dig into the Bible. Oh and by the way, neither of those authors are religious authorities, nor are they perfect beings, so feel free to take what they’ve written with a grain of salt.

Thanks for reading,


-Step.

An Introduction

So it finally happened.

My wife and I are done, seems like as good a time as any to start a blog.

I've held on to online anonymity for far too long. I loved being anonymous, read, nobody. I'm ready to take a stand and be a presence. Do I really believe anyone but a couple of close friends will read this blog, or that my opinions will mean anything to anybody I'm not in the room with? No, but on the off chance someone wants to hear what I have to say, I'm putting it out there.
This will be a place for random thoughts, venting about life, and probably other things which I've not yet decided on. Sounds just like any other blog, right? So much for doing away with my online anonymity. I'll try to keep it interesting, which I should be able to manage since I'm not holding much back. Here's where I jump right in with both feet.

I am a man from London Ontario. I am a Christian. I am a Nerd. I am a Furry. I am an amature Writer of fiction and non fiction. I am a Kinkster. I am a Dom. I am, and shall remain, polyamorous, which is part of why my wife and I are separating. I am so many other things, but that can be covered in other blog posts. For now, I hope I've whet someone's appetite, and perhaps I'll get a reader.

This is going to be a place of philosophy, of fairness, of compassion and trial. I will point out things I don’t like, and things which I think are wrong, but not from a place of cruelty. Rather, in the hope that with an insight into WHY something is wrong, it can be made better. I hope to update once a week at least, so we'll see how it goes.

Thanks for reading,


-Step.

P.S. I may throw in the occasional curse or profanity, 'cause, fuck it.